i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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