New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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