lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
