...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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