from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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