Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
