the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
