tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
