My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
