The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
