everyone is single if you try hard enough
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
