and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i jhust puked up my retainher.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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