Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
