she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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