I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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