TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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