Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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