Even the bartender felt bad for me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
