Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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