her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
