i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
