is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
