ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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