I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
