How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
