so that wasnt chicken after all
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
