You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
