They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
