I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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