Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
