maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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