guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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