I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
