Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
