remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
