I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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