i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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