you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
