Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
