its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize