Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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