Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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