Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
