so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
