lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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