I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I need to stop coming to work sober
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
