Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
