Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
