I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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