Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
