You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
