JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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