do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
