plz talk dirty to me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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