then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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